Sometimes, when parents get divorced, it can seem like the family falls apart. Fortunately for me, that wasn’t the case. For me, my family just expanded. I got more cousins, I got more aunts and uncles, and I got more grandparents. I got more Thanksgivings and Christmases, more food and more friends, and I got more love. But now that it’s time for my wedding, I also have more dilemmas.

My mother sent me this article from The Knot that discusses what traditions can be modified when your parents or grandparents are divorced or if you have step-parents that you want to involve. Admittedly, there are a lot of things in this article I never even thought about. (There’s a seating order? Isn’t it just bridesmaids then me?)

Some of the traditions mentioned I had already decided I’m not going to do. For example, nobody is giving me away. It’s outdated. I refuse to allow myself to be passed on from one man to another. Plus, my future husband only needed one person’s permission to marry me: mine. My father has no say in who I marry (sorry, pops).

But some things, like the father-daughter mother-son dance, I have thought about. Is that a tradition people expect? Is that something I should plan for? Where does that go in the program? (I’m against anything that delays food.) I’m not totally sure that it’s something I want in the program either.

Seating is what worries me the most. My venue only accommodates tables of 8, so some of my family will have to split up into separate tables. How do I decide who goes where? Who else do I seat at that table?

I don’t think I’m in the right stage of planning yet to be able to answer these questions. I haven’t even sent out my save-the-dates yet. Hey, maybe my whole family won’t come. Who knows.

The point is, although my family has grown and that makes me happy, my wedding problems are just more complicated now. I have more to think through and I have more puzzles to solve. It’s a good thing I like puzzles.