fadd8525-67c4-4489-a7fa-d46c5b0c448cIf you’re anything like me, you probably want control over everything as a bride. And you know what? That’s probably fair. There are a lot of different things you have to think about, you have to coordinate them all, and you want them all to be perfect. Especially if you don’t have a wedding planner (like most of us don’t), you’re in charge of everything, and than can be a big weight on your shoulders. But it can also feel powerful and awesome being the puppetmaster of a huge event like your wedding. I really like event planning and orchestrating everything is awesome. There’s one aspect, however, of the wedding that I can’t control: the bridal shower.

I’ve been to a few showers in my life, mostly when I was a kid and too young to know what was going on, but what I remember about them is they were a large, loud group of women, drinking and tearing open presents and talking about how much they hate their significant others. Yuck. (Side note: It bothers me how much married people talk about how annoying their spouse is: if you don’t like it, don’t be with them.) I wasn’t even thinking about having a shower when I got engaged. But then I learned it’s not up to me. Someone else throws the shower. How am I, the control freak, supposed to live with that?

It’s especially stressful when people I know get their invitations in the mail and then ask me for details. I literally only know as much as they do. I just show up and things will happen to me. And it’s not that I’m not grateful: I’m very excited to have a little party with my friends and family and get presents. But it’s strange to not be in control of this aspect of the wedding when I’m in control of everything else.

My shower just serves as a metaphor for the rest of my stress levels: I can’t be in control of everything, so I should just relax, and even though I don’t know what’s coming next, I know everything will work out.